Every little thing I do, Never seems enough for you...

Ok the logical processing part of my brain is not working anymore.
One killer java assignment and now another assignment where the comment "System administration here is basically fire fighting." is made.

And with that the other side of my brain is taking over.
Means I am getting emo at no apparent reason at all. Maybe there is but I wun admit it.
Feel overly sensitive to anything and everything. And to add salt to wound, its the 3 hit combo season coming. Christmas, Chinese New Year and Finally to complete it, V-Day.

I dun show it but its gonna get crazy trying to keep my emotions in check.
And uncheck emotions always lead to me doing stupid things and getting myself hurt needlessly.
And keeping myself occupied is not going to help as the 3 hits will come during my free periods.

And so drastic times call for drastic measures.

Reasons why I have no hope at all and should not even bother trying:
(disclaimer - I am no way trying to imply anyone here)

I am a student with little to no spending power.
I do not look like a million bucks.
I do not have a car.
I do not own a nice dslr.
I am a boring person.
I cannot sing.
I cannot play the drums/bass/guitar/etc
I do not get invited to happening events(I have to self invite).
I do not know how to buaya.
I cannot dance.
I do not have the bad boy image.
I stay home on saturdays cos I got church on Sunday
I got no name card.
I have no fashion sense.
I am just the good friend.
I do not have alot of time.
I do not even have a debit card.
I think character is more important than looks.
I think on the safer side of things.

Basically in society today, I am a nobody.

Think this should be enough for starters. Can always think of more if need be.
And since I usually need to let it out to other people and now everyone can see how inferiorly sianz I feel, maybe it will sink in my head.
Yeah there is no way that I will ever get attached feeling/being like this.

Which means I will either get more emo(hope not) or wake up my idea and study hard and continue to normalise my life as before.

And definately the mtv should add to the mood here. Ok thats it for tonight. Done with my draft for the next assignment so I can get some sleep. Back to school tomorrow. Oh yeah I should add that too : " I got school on saturday so unless there is a good reason, I would not go out on friday nights."

Nights,
Kenneth.

*BTW this post has a double meaning to those who still dun get what I am also trying to say.*