So lately, been wondering, Who will be there to take my place When I'm gone, you'll need love To light the shadows on your face If a great wave shall fall It would fall upon us all and between the sand and stone Could you make it on your own
If I could, then I would I'll go wherever you will go Way up high, or down low I'll go wherever you will go
And maybe, I'll find out The way to make it back someday To watch you, to guide you Through the darkest of your days If a great wave shall fall It would fall upon us all Well then I hope there's someone out there Who can bring me back to you
If I could, then I would I'll go wherever you will go Way up high, or down low I'll go wherever you will go
Runaway with my heart Runaway with my hope Runaway with my love
I know now, just quite how My life and love might still go on In your heart, in your mind I'll stay with you for all of time
If I could, then I would I'll go wherever you will go Way up high, or down low I'll go wherever you will go
If I could turn back time I'll go wherever you will go If I could make you mine I'll go wherever you will go I'll go wherever you will go
Here I am rushing project after sleepless nights and a training at bedok camp in which I remembered why I never like PTIs. Only having my Project in front of my screen looking back at me while my iTunes is playing through my playlist...
Sometimes I wonder why I push myself do hard. Why put in extra effort into the trainings and why bother to see if I can improve my work. Not out to impress anyone nor am I trying to win any studies award.
And make matters worst, its times like this you feel all alone with no one there to call or receive encouragement from. Yesh its times like this I feel all emo and wish I had a GF. But the sad truth is that with all these problems of mine, I dun feel I can ever support a relationship. Ironic isn't it...
Haiz... KK off to sleep liaos... Gonna have to wake up early to continue polishing my share of the report. Everyone is doing their best so I cannot let them down by slacking just because I got trainning...
cheers, Kenneth.
*To someone : no it still doesn't mean you can go through your phone list for numbers for me... :P*
"The Animal Song" by Savage Garden
When superstars and cannonballs are running through your head A television freak show cops and robbers everywhere Subway makes me nervous people pushing me too far Ive got to break away So take my hand now
Chorus cause I want to live like animals Careless and free like animals I want to live I want to run through the jungle The wind in my hair and the sand at my feet
Ive been having difficulties keeping to myself Feelings and emotions better left up on the shelf Animals and children tell the truth they never lie Which one is more human Theres a thought now you decide
Compassion in the jungle Compassion in your hands yeah Would you like to make a run for it Would you like to take my hand yeah
Chorus
Sometimes this life can get you down Its so confusing Theres so many rules to follow And I feel it cause I just run away in my mind
Superstars and cannonballs running through your head Television freak show cops and robbers everywhere Animals and children tell the truth they never lie Which one is more human Theres a thought now you decide
Compassion in the jungle Compassion in your hands yeah Would you like to make a run for it Would you like to take my hand yeah
Repeat chorus to fade
Its been a busy past few days. From surviving CNY with relatives taking pot shots at me to meeting up with friends who are either going abroad or just came back to rushing my school projects and assignments.
Chinese New Year was the same as every year. Houses to visit never change and so do the questions, although they did evolve into the next level. Long gone were the usual "When will be your turn to get attached" or the "So do you have a GF yet?". Its now "So when can I stop giving you red packet?". That one is no more pot shots but rather GPMG liaos.
Well other than that, WeiMing came back to singapore for the CNY. Managed to meet up with him for Charlene's farewell dinner at Chomp Chomp. Than went to the airport early in the morning to send Charlene off. Than its off to tampines S11 for breakfast with WeiMing. Guess he misses the local food here or something.
Thanks for the coffee latte and hope to see you back in SG again in 10 months time. Take care and study hard hor... ;P
Well that's about it for today. Its back to projects and more projects for me...
And I'd give up forever to touch you Cause I know that you feel me somehow You're the closest to heaven That I'll ever be And I don't wanna go home right now And all I can taste is this moment And all I can breath is your life Cause sooner or later its over I just don't want to miss you tonight
And I don't want the world to see me Cause I don't think that they'd understand When everything's made to be broken I just want you to know who I am
And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming Or the moment of truth in your lies When everything seems like the movies Yeah you bleed just to know you're alive
And I don't want the world to see me Cause I don't think that they'd understand When everything's made to be broken I just want you to know who I am
And I don't want the world to see me Cause I don't think that they'd understand When everything's made to be broken I just want you to know who I am
I don't want the world to see me Cause I don't think that they'd understand When everything's made to be broken I just want you to know who I am I just want you to know who I am I just want you to know who I am
Well that's the end of the CNY holidays. Red packet collection was normal as with every year. Enough for me to spend on new clothes, and some minor hardware upgrades at the march IT Show(new KB and Mouse and maybe new HDD for vista). But most importantly, enough to get any new text books and so on.
Well just some thoughts for today, I was asked to promise someone that everything will turn out fine and ok. Well to that someone if you are reading this, Sorry I Cannot Do That.
As much as I would want to say that everything is going to be fine, I just cannot. It would be bluffing or as good as telling a lie. I am just a normal mortal human. I bleed, I cry, I laugh and someday I will die. I cannot see into the future. No living mortal being on this earth can. If not they would be rich liaos as they can just go look into the future and know which soccer team will win, which horse will win the race or which numbers will come out for the next toto or 4D.
All I can say is to do your best, try hard and do not be afraid to make the wrong choices and learn from other people's mistakes so you do not have to go through the pain of it all.
Well as for me, the song has always been a favourite of mine. And when I found out Mr Keating did a cover, I just had to search for it. Loved his "When You Say Nothing At All" so figured this one should be nice. While nothing beats the original, he sure did a good job in his own way.
The song is written for the movie "City of Angels" and talks about the story of an unknown person's desire to be known by the object of his love. However, he seeks to avoid the notice of others because of possible repercussions.
And it hit me again as thoughts and considerations flash through my mind. They very though of the unequal yoke is back. What if in the end I end up like the guy whom I posted about making that very same mistake I made so many years ago. Wouldn't things be a lot easier? What if in the end it seems to be the better choice because one of equal yoke seem so distance and incompatible. Or maybe I would finally give into pressure. Haiz...
I have come to this conclusion that in the end its really the person's decision to stay single or get attached. Just take a walk down the street, any busy street and you will see couples everywhere and you will know what I mean when the though "This type of person also can get a gf/bf".For some the ideal of giving up their freedom blocks them, and for others its because their requirements are too high. Yet we all know that someday we will have to settle down. The idea of having someone there still appeals to everyone. Just look at the number of shows with some form of romance in them.
Well hopefully the painful reminder of my last mistake will keep me walking the straight line.
Time to sleep liaos. Nites all.
cheers, Kenneth.
*this still doesn't mean I will pay premium price for a normal piece of vegetable.*
From underneath the trees, we watch the sky Confusing stars for satellites I never dreamed that you'd be mine But here we are, we're here tonight
Singing Amen, I, I'm alive Singing Amen, I, I'm alive
[Chorus:] If everyone cared and nobody cried If everyone loved and nobody lied If everyone shared and swallowed their pride Then we'd see the day when nobody died
And I'm singing
Amen I, Amen I, I'm alive Amen I, Amen I, Amen I, I'm alive
And in the air the fireflies Our only light in paradise We'll show the world they were wrong And teach them all to sing along
Singing Amen, I, I'm alive Singing Amen, I, I'm alive (I'm alive)
[Chorus x2]
And as we lie beneath the stars We realize how small we are If they could love like you and me Imagine what the world could be
If everyone cared and nobody cried If everyone loved and nobody lied If everyone shared and swallowed their pride Then we'd see the day when nobody died When nobody died...
[Chorus]
We'd see the day, we'd see the day When nobody died We'd see the day, we'd see the day When nobody died We'd see the day when nobody died
Another song in a meaningful way to end off my day. This time its a song by Nickleback who brought us another hit song "Far Away"
"The song discusses a very strong relationship between two people, who are always honest, supporting, and caring of each other. The chorus then describes a scenario where if everyone in the world acted like this towards every one else, then how better off the world would be if this were the case."
This reminds me of the story about the guy who would go to the beach and throw starfish washed up on the shore back into the sea. While he cannot possibly save all the starfish washed up on the shore, at least he made a difference to those he managed to throw back.
Sometimes I wonder why people are the way they are. From the idiots out there who like to put people down just becasuse they feel inferior or those who downright just want to make lives of those around him or her difficult. I mean not everyone is nice enough to just forgive and forget. Imagine if the person you put down yesterday became your boss next week... Or the guy whose life you made difficult is going to the be guy to interview you when you graduate...
Ok enough for today. Will post more tomorrow as I brave another wave of potshots and firing squads.
Step one you say we need to talk He walks you say sit down it's just a talk He smiles politely back at you You stare politely right on through Some sort of window to your right As he goes left and you stay right Between the lines of fear and blame And you begin to wonder why you came
Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend Somewhere along in the bitterness And I would have stayed up with you all night Had I known how to save a life
Let him know that you know best Cause after all you do know best Try to slip past his defense Without granting innocence Lay down a list of what is wrong The things you've told him all along And pray to God he hears you And pray to God he hears you
Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend Somewhere along in the bitterness And I would have stayed up with you all night Had I known how to save a life
As he begins to raise his voice You lower yours and grant him one last choice Drive until you lose the road Or break with the ones you've followed He will do one of two things He will admit to everything Or he'll say he's just not the same And you'll begin to wonder why you came
Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend Somewhere along in the bitterness And I would have stayed up with you all night Had I known how to save a life
I love songs with meaning and this is one of them as well. Taken from the wikipedia it talks about the lead singer and his experiences as a youth worker.
Quote From Wikipedia - "One of the kids I was paired up with was a musician. Here I was, a protected suburbanite, and he was just 17 and had all these problems. And no one could write a manual on how to save him."
Slade claims that the song is about all of the people that tried to reach out to the boy but were unsuccessful. As Slade says in an interview, his friends and family approached him by saying, "Quit [the problem behavior] or I won't talk to you again," but all he needed was some support.
The lyrics are meaningful and sometimes do make you wonder about people around you and about yourself. Can you even consider yourself a friend to those you call your friend? Do you even try to know them for who they are? For what they are? Or its just a shallow weather friendship worrying about if they are going to drive you home, or if just by being with them you can get some fame as well. And when they are in trouble do you stick by them or just let them be.
Personally I admit its very hard to be nice to all my friends. Some deserve it as they are really good friends but sometimes when your friend is in trouble and down and you yourself are also not in the bestest of circumstances, I find it hard to put away my problems to lend my friend a helping hand.
I remember this verse saying not to judge the speck of dust in your brother's eye while failing to see the plank in your own. I admit the one thing I hate the most is when people try to tell me what is right and when they tell me I am wrong when they themselves are also wrong. Is it wrong to use the same expectation on others when I am also have the same expectations on me? Personally I think its downright crap.
So my plea to firstly all the youth workers out there, or in fact anyone who works with youth. The very fact that you chose to be in this line means you must be willing to be patient and understanding and willing to put yourself in the youth's shoe. Being patient is one thing, being ignorant of your own ego is another. Yes the youth know he/she is wrong in whatever he/she did. But other than the same old do not do it again, have you ever tried to understand why he/she did that? Or are you the type who will just go you know its wrong why do you do it? There is no need to understand or feel for the youth, wrong is wrong. Hello you think this is army ah. Well if so than please get out of my uncaring non understanding face.
Let me give you a real life example : You got a guy who is in a mess cos he just broke up with his non christian gf for 2 years. Yesh before you give me the shit about the its wrong and unequal yoke, ever wonder why or try to find out if he knows its wrong? And why its wrong? And yet why he still went into the relationship?
Well ever been the loser of the group before? Ever been always the nice guy but always finish last? Ever been the one whom everyone assumes is ok but deep down is lonely and hurting? Always the one to be there for others but no one to be there for him. And when someone comes along and actually pays attention to him, do you even dare to blame him 100% and yet do not feel for him.
Now I can say that yes its his fault and he should know it. Yet my heart goes out to him. We all make mistakes, its how we pick ourselves and learn from it. And support not more putting down will help one get back on track.
Of cos I do know of some people who really go all out to help and try to understand before blasting. Sadly these type of people are getting more rare. Well while I might not be perfect, yet I am glad I chose to be corrupted in some way. Yes everyone knows me as the corrupted admin. But ever know what really went behind the scenes and why the term corrupted was used? Lolz I bet you those people who sent hate mail to the I Guides email never sat back and think through what really happened. When you have to cut from 1000 to 300, confirm will step on toes one. But yet I still gave in we had 301 I-Guides with my head on the line. Or how about the interview for those who really wanted a chance and came to find me.
In the end it takes two hands to clap. Granted the guy/girl must be willing to admit he is wrong and change, but on your side you must know that some people take longer than the rest to change. But I guess most people wun care right?
In conclusion to the first blog of the Pig Year : It is not easy to work with other people. Know what it takes and most importantly you gotta have a big heart. If you do not please do not go into that line and ruin more lives.
Ok just needed to let all those things out for some time liaos. But never had the chance to last time. But now things have changed and this song trigged it off.
Also before I go sleep, to a certain someone, please wake up and smell the coffee, the person on the other end of that dead screen is not going to be there for you forever. If people can put in effort to ask you how your day was, try to cheer and encourage you than please at least response abit. It helps to be nice.(hmmm actually this reminds me of more people but you get the idea)
Ok thats about it for my ultra long post. Nites all and Happy CNY esp to those who like me are in my 2nd cycle. Good Nights All.
Lying in your arms So close together Didn't know just what I had Now I toss and turn Cause I'm without you How I'm missing you so bad Where was my head? Where was my heart? Now I cry alone in the dark
I lie awake, I drive myself crazy Drive myself crazy thinking of you Made a mistake when I let you go baby I drive myself crazy Wanting you the way that I do
I was such a fool I couldn't see it Just how good you were to me You confessed your love Undying devotion I confessed my need to be free And now I'm left With all this pain I've only got myself to blame
I lie awake, I drive myself crazy Drive myself crazy thinking of you Made a mistake when I let you go baby I drive myself crazy Wanting you the way that I do
Why didn't I know it (How much I loved you baby) Why couldn't show it (If I had only told you) When I had the chance Oh I had the chance
I drive myself crazy
I lie awake, I drive myself crazy Drive myself crazy thinking of you Made a mistake when I let you go baby I drive myself crazy Wanting you the way that I do
I drive myself crazy Wanting you the way that I do
Fictional Story Inspired From Real Stories:
A was the normal guy that you would find everywhere along the street. Normal looking, Not rich but not poor, not fat but not thin, not smart but not stupid. You get the idea. Normal average guy. Yet somehow he never got the chance with any of the girls he knows. Somehow not matter how hard he tried to be nice, sensitive and so on, he is still single and unwanted. And the worst part is that A can spend countless nights either on the phone or on some instant messaging thingy like MSN having a conversation with some girl, but its always never to his advantage. Its always cheering the girl up when she is down or trying to save a relationship cos the BF doesn't spend enough time or something.
Basically he is the nice guy that girls always say make the best BF/Husband but yet why is he still single? Sad right... Recently he is again spending time at night chatting with this girl whom he likes but did not have the courage to tell her. And each time he would be there to lend a listening ear to her when her r/s goes wrong and to be there to hear her complains about her bf. Yet he is always encouraging her to give her bf another chance and so on.
Most normal people would ask him to tell her to break up and give it up since the bf is an idiot and show her how much he cares and that she should be with him. Well A has this weird moral code never to do something like that. His reason? How would he feel if someone else did it. And now after V Day, he is there again consoling her because although she got flowers from her bf, she rather have him spend time with her. And he wonders how long he can go on being the nice guy when all he gets is nothing. And all he can do is cry alone in the dark...
- End -
Well I want to write more but to protect the people whom the story is based on I shall not go on. To that guy, welcome to life. I know it sucks but hey, that's Singaporean girls for you. Nice ones are either taken, hard to find or lesbian. Dun bother about the girl liaos lah. Not worth it I tell you. Where got girl stay in a r/s with a guy when she is not happy one.
Heck as the old saying goes, (english translation) Guy not bad, Girl dun like. Somehow I never understand the need to be bad so that you are "cool" to be attractive. I mean now look "cool" good lah, but later on, are you sure you want this cool looking piece of crap who rather spend time looking cool and hip and happening rather than study hard but in the end cannot provide you with a comfortable life to be your husband? And pls ah, the LOVE will conquer all thing is not going to happen. Be practical and wake up and smell the coffee. Got starbucks and coffeebean to choose from. Even pacific coffee also can. You get the idea...
Ok better not go on if not I will get personal and direct liaos. But hey you should know who you are. Pls wake up and smell the coffee. I dun want to see another nice guy become bad becos being nice doesn't work out at all.
KK the song is dedicated to all guys out there who go crazy over a girl but just fall short of her requirements. Dun go crazy until I have to visit you in IMH hor. Move on and find another supermarket where the normal vegetables dun cost as much as premium ones.
Not going to comment much today. All I can say is nothing else can go wrong liaos. Bracing myself for the firing squad this coming CNY.
its not my FAULT that the current supermarket sells VEGETABLES as if they are fresh and nice and juicy and watever nice things you can say about vegetables when they are not. haiz....
Anyway enjoy the video, the piano piece is very nice.
original : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KSpcaEjSYBo
"Chasing Cars" by Snow Patrol
We'll do it all Everything On our own
We don't need Anything Or anyone
If I lay here If I just lay here Would you lie with me and just forget the world?
I don't quite know How to say How I feel
Those three words Are said too much They're not enough
If I lay here If I just lay here Would you lie with me and just forget the world?
Forget what we're told Before we get too old Show me a garden that's bursting into life
Let's waste time Chasing cars Around our heads
I need your grace To remind me To find my own
If I lay here If I just lay here Would you lie with me and just forget the world?
Forget what we're told Before we get too old Show me a garden that's bursting into life
All that I am All that I ever was Is here in your perfect eyes, they're all I can see
I don't know where Confused about how as well Just know that these things will never change for us at all
If I lay here If I just lay here Would you lie with me and just forget the world?
Posted is the music video from Grey's Anatomy with the song in the background. Also posted the link to the original one as well for your viewing pleasure. Well nothing much happened today. Turned a blind eye to all the couples in the world.
Was chatting with sebaz, some how my gift is still sitting in my drawer waiting for someone and his gift from our sec sch days is still sitting somewhere in his home. I cant help but wonder what happened sia. Guess I had too much hope in nothing. Brokenhopes again...
Ok thats about it for tonight. Gonna get some sleep liaos. Nites world.
"(Everything I Do) I Do It For You" by Bryan Adams
Look into my eyes - you will see What you mean to me Search your heart - search your soul And when you find me there you'll search no more Don't tell me it's not worth tryin' for You can't tell me it's not worth dyin' for You know it's true Everything I do - I do it for you
Look into my heart - you will find There's nothin' there to hide Take me as I am - take my life I would give it all I would sacrifice Don't tell me it's not worth fightin' for I can't help it there's nothin' I want more Ya know it's true Everything I do - I do it for you
There's no love - like your love And no other - could give more love There's nowhere - unless you're there All the time - all the way
Don't tell me it's not worth tryin' for I can't help it there's nothin' I want more I would fight for you - I'd lie for you Walk the wire for you - Ya I'd die for you
Ya know it's true Everything I do - I do it for you
Nice video right? hehe... both their voices are power sia...
Anyway today is one heck of a day. Went to school for lab @ 9am only to find out they got the timing wrong. Some admin guy cock it up sia... Even the lab was open and the break snack was there. So spent 9am - 5pm in school doing my module 212 assignment 3 which is more or less done for the basic parts. Than rushed home to get ready for my first IPT session. Which was a IPPT test which as usual I failed(that's why I am going for IPT mah). Of cos as usual, my unification of china stomach did 40 sit ups with time to spare. :D
It was all good until the ride home. Took me 1hour 30mins to get home. Left the camp at 915pm and got home around 1045pm. The worst part was that on the 72 home from Tampines, with me all hungry, someone had to bring food onto the bus and the whole upper deck could smell it. Basket I am so not going to defend that person's home if ever got war. How do you expect me a student using his time to go train up rather than do his projects to feel when he is all hungry and you help him remember that he has not taken his dinner, went for a full IPPT session and am super hungry but he cannot do anything about it. If that was not bad enough, I had to put up with the most irritating sight ever.
As usual, 72 takes forever to turn at the T junction @ hougang ave 3 from Tampines road. Here I am all tired, irritated at the smell of food with aching legs thinking about my assignments and the fact I have to survive V Day and(BTW I took the window seat) at the junction crossing the road I see a couple happily talking and the girl has a bunch of flowers in her hand. And becos the bus(I tell you SBS hates me and this just adds to the list) took forever to turn, I had to see the scene as the BF walked his GF home. As much as I wanted to turn away, TV Mobile was showing some crap show.
Well its past 12 so yeah its the dreaded day for florist to earn money. Thankfully I have it all planned out.
0800 - 0900 : Wake up, Slack in bed awhile, wash up and get breakfast 0900 - 1000 : Watch Heroes EP 15, check out the forums and soccer news 1000 - 1200 : Play UFO: Afterlight and kick some alien butt. 1200 - 1300 : Hit the pull up bar, Get lunch and get ready for school 1300 - 1400 : Travel to school 1400 - 1700 : Survive my boring module 222 class and settle the assignment 3 1700 - 1800 : Travel home and try to not see any couples 1800 - 1930 : Get home, rest up, send emails regarding the assignment and bathe 1930 - 2030 : Dinner at home and survive more potshots from parents. 2030 - 2230 : Module 212 assignment 3 refining. Must maintain my Distinction grade 2230 - 0000 : Games, Forums, and more Games... 0000 - ???? : Dream Land...
Yup hopefully I will survive tmr. Anyway before I forget and sign off, this song is dedicated all the my friends out there who are celebrating V Day. As usual, doesn't mean I dun celebrate means my friends dun do it as well.
How many of you people out there Been hurt in some kind of love affair And how many times do you swear that you'll never love again?
How many lonely, sleepless nights How many lies, how many fights And why would you want to put yourself through all that again?
love is pain, I hear you say Love has a cruel and bitter way Of paying you back for all the faith you ever had in your brain
How could it be that what you need the most Can leave you feeling just like a ghost? You never want to feel so sad and lost again
One day you could be looking Through an old book in rainy weather You see a picture of her smiling at you When you were still together You could be walking down the street And who should you chance to meet But that same old smile that you've been thinking of all day
You can turn the clock to zero, honey Ill sell the stock, well spend all the money Were starting up a brand new day
Turn the clock all the way back I wonder if shell take me back I'm thinking in a brand new way
Turn the clock to zero, sister You'll never know how much I missed her Starting up a brand new day
Turn the clock to zero, boss The rivers wide, well swim across Started up a brand new day
It could happen to you - just like it happened to me There's simply no immunity - there's no guarantee I say loves such a force - if you find yourself in it And sometimes no reflection is there
Baby wait a minute, wait a minute Wait a minute, wait a minute Wait a minute, wait a minute
Turn the clock to zero, honey Ill sell the stock, well spend all the money Were starting up a brand new day
Turn the clock to zero, mac I'm begging her to take me back I'm thinking in a brand new way
Turn the clock to zero, boss The rivers wide, well swim across Started up a brand new day
Turn the clock to zero buddy Don't wanna be no fuddy duddy Started up a brand new day
I'm the rhythm in your tune I'm the sun and you're the moon I'm a bat and you're the cave You're the beach and I'm the wave I'm the plow and you're the land You're the glove and I'm the hand I'm the train and you're the station I'm a flagpole to your nation - yeah
Stand up all you lovers in the world Stand up and be counted every boy and every girl Stand up all you lovers in the world Starting up a brand new day
I'm the present to your future You're the wound and I'm the suture You're the magnet to my pole I'm the devil in your soul You're the pupil I'm the teacher You're the church and I'm the preacher You're the flower I'm the rain You're the tunnel I'm the train
Stand up all you lovers in the world Stand up and be counted every boy and every girl Stand up all you lovers in the world Starting up a brand new day
You're the crop to my rotation You're the sum of my equation I'm the answer to your question If you follow my suggestion We can turn this ship around Well go up instead of down You're the pan and I'm the handle You're the flame and I'm the candle
Stand up all you lovers in the world Stand up and be counted every boy and every girl Stand up all you lovers in the world Were starting up a brand new day
Just a quick post before I go eat dinner. Wanted to post this earlier but been so busy with work. I think my Uni does not celebrate V Day and CNY. Assignments after Assignments and now I got my exam schedule... Sianz 1/2 sia...
Anyway this song is dedicated to all my friends who are feeling down and out this V Day becos they got rejected by their intended V Day date or dun wanna date anyone this V Day cos they are still hurt.
For people like me who cant celebrate V Day becos of other reasons(I will be too tired after IPT and school and will be busy with my assignments), I go find another song for you when I am free ba...
Give me time to reason, give me time to think it through Passing through the season, where I cheated you
I will always have a cross to wear, but the bolt reminds me I was there
So give me strength, to face this test tonight
If only I could turn back time If only I had said what I still hide If only I could turn back time I would stay for the night. For the night...
Claim your right to science Claim your right to see the truth Though my pangs of conscience, Will drill a hole in you
I seen it coming like a thief in the night, I seen it coming from the flash of your light
So give me strength, to face this test tonight
If only I could turn back time If only I had said what I still hide If only I could turn back time.. I would stay for the night
The bolt reminds me I was there the bolt reminds me I was there
If only I could turn back time If only I had said what I still hide If only I could turn back time I would stay for the night
This is one of the songs that made me listen to Aqua's song. Interestingly enough when I first heard it, I couldn't believe it was by Aqua after their "Barbie Girl" single. After listening a few times to the song, I guess Lene Nystrom can really sing a nice ballad after all.
Anyway its been a hectic 2 days. Rushing the report for module 222 and creating the GUI. Lol I was never a GUI guy but hey it turned out not bad. Maybe After school tmr when I work on the user guide I will try to touch up abit more. But please dun ask me to code it cos it looks complex. Especially the progress bar at the bottom. Anyway today was good cos I got my results for module 212 back. A Distinction and a high distinction for my assignment 1 and quiz 1 respectively. Must really work hard for this module to try to get a distinction overall at least.
Headed down to SYFC after school to help out with the Garage event doing what I always do, man the photo booth. Well as usual, lots of photos and not enough time. Poor printer worked overtime until it had to take a break to cool down. Anyway the theme was again on love and more on friendship. On of the usual thing that was said was that we never really appreciate what we have until we lose it.
Lols kinda come together with the song "turn back time" doesn't it. How many times have we regret only too late and wished we could go back in time. Well since its near V Day anyway, I must say that there was most probably at least 3 times in which I screwed up and thus ended up alone for V Day. But the thing I keep telling myself is to press on. Some never make mistakes, some learn by making them and there are the fortunate those who learn from mistakes others make. Well if there are things to share about my mistakes, these are most probably the more important ones:
1. never look down on yourself, there must be something good inside of you that a girl would be willing to spend over 2 hours on the phone, worry about your ankle and give you tips how to lose weight by eating more meat instead of carbo at dinner.(Something which I am doing right now... need to lose weight for those pull ups)
2. Do not rush things. Just because the girl doesn't show any feelings towards you yet doesn't mean nothing is going to work out. Hey if movie dates and dinner dates dun count for anything than I dunno how liaos. Of cos I seen cases where a girl and guy are really good friends until the point they know each other too well to know they can not be together or end up together. But thats rare. Bottom line is just take it slow and easy. In the end I ended it for lack of development. Well later on I found out I was the idiot. Enough Said.
3. The most important thing I guess is to really find out more about the person. Breaking up after that because of something that you failed to check out first is the worst and most stupid reason. I am guilty for that.
So yup that is about it. Off to catch some sleep and get ready for school and another long week ahead.
cheers, Kenneth.
*In no way am I blaming anyone for anything in those 3 reasons. These are MY Mistakes and no one else*
**BTW to certain people, if you did not get my email, pls take note the stuff is with me liaos. Please collect and pay up asap. Dun wanna get it too late if you know what I mean. :D**
all the tension in the world today all the little girls fillin up the world today with the good comes the bad - the bad comes the good but i'm gonna live my life like i should now all the critics wanna hit it to shit-can how we did it just because they don't get it but i'll stay fitted - new era committed now this red cap gets a wrap from his critics do we always gotta cry do we always gotta live inside a lie life's just a blast, it's movin' really fast you better stay on top or life will kick you in the ass follow me into a solo, remember that kid so what you wanna do and where you gonna run when you're starin' down the cable of a: mic pointed at your grill like a gun limp bizkit's rockin' the set it's like russian roulette when you're placin' your bet so don't be upset when you're broke and you're done 'cause i'm gonna be the one till i jet i know why you wanna hate me i know why you wanna hate me i know why you wanna hate me 'cause hate is all the world has even seen lately i know why you wanna hate me i know why you wanna hate me now, i know why you wanna hate me 'cause hate is all the world has even seen lately does anyone really know the secret or the combination for this life, and where to keep it it's kinda sad when you don't know the meanin' but everything happens for a reason i don't even know what i should say, 'cause i'm an idiot, a loser, a microphone abuser i analyze every second i exist beatin' up my mind every second with my fist and everybody wanna run, everybody wanna hide from the gun you can take that ride through this life, if you want but you can't take the edge off the knife - no sir and now you want your money back but you're denied, 'cause your brain's fried from the sack and there ain't nothin i can do, cause life is a lesson - you learn it when you're through i know why you wanna hate me i know why you wanna hate me i know why you wanna hate me 'cause hate is all the world has even seen lately i know why you wanna hate me i know why you wanna hate me now, i know why you wanna hate me 'cause hate is all the world has even seen lately i know why you wanna hate me 'cause hate is all the world has even seen lately
This is dedicated to the one only manager of the England Squad. Thank you very much now I cant wear my England Jersey as planned tomorrow. Sheesh... where are your brains sia, first you kick beckham out, than after winning a micky mouse greece squad last year you get all cocky. Now with so many millions of pounds worth of english players you cant even win a friendly. Lets not even talk about the last few above average results. And you are a full time manager. Even the part time under 21 guy manage a draw.
I'm tired of being what you want me to be Feeling so faithless lost under the surface Don't know what you're expecting of me Put under the pressure of walking in your shoes (Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow) Every step that I take is another mistake to you (Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow)
[Chorus] I've become so numb I can't feel you there Become so tired so much more aware I'm becoming this all I want to do Is be more like me and be less like you
Can't you see that you're smothering me Holding too tightly afraid to lose control Cause everything that you thought I would be Has fallen apart right in front of you (Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow) Every step that I take is another mistake to you (Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow) And every second I waste is more than I can take
[Chorus] I've become so numb I can't feel you there Become so tired so much more aware I'm becoming this all I want to do Is be more like me and be less like you
And I know I may end up failing too But I know You were just like me with someone disappointed in you
[Chorus] I've become so numb I can't feel you there Become so tired so much more aware I'm becoming this all I want to do Is be more like me and be less like you
[Chorus] I've become so numb I can't feel you there I'm tired of being what you want me to be I've become so numb I can't feel you there I'm tired of being what you want me to be
Ok its another Linkin Park video here. I told myself not to post two videos from the same artist or group one after another but there is something about this song and video that hit me.
Anyway FYI I am into watching music videos now thus the sudden influx of youtube videos. Some I watch on youtube, some I got the videos like Ayumi's ones which are on the DVD which came with the cd. Thanks to Joshua and Kathleen for that Christmas present.
Back to the video, I think it reminds me of many of us growing up here in SG. Where the whole society is moulded to a template. Complete your primary and secondary education, move on to tertiary education, get your paper, go out to work, get attached, get married, have kids and make sure your kids follow the same process. Yup thats what is expected here. Than there is the usual fields of studies to go into, everything is somehow preplanned for you and you dun have a choice. Take myself for example, I am doing a computer science degree, the "right" or "correct" route would be to be a programmer than team leader and so on. Or system analyst also can. Now if I said I wanted to make the first Mac Virus(Yes I am dead serious about it. Now its just hogging resources... but later on... :D) and work for Microsoft in producing stuff to shoot the mac down like they are shooting the pc with their ads, how many people will encourage me? I think its more like telling me its a stupid idea and be realistic with life.
Maybe I belong to the non old school group of thinking. I mean I have seen friends who study Law in poly and in the end you hear his voice on air every morning(and doing a good job too), fellow IT students back in poly not because they want to but because they were told to do so. Now one is a youth worker planning to get his degree in another field and the other doing camps and getting this education paid so he can do his dip and move on to his degree. Or another friend I know who is in a local uni learning how to draw instead of working away on the pc(Hey I saw the picture and it looks good). Interesting right?
Well enough pouring out of my thoughts here, gonna get some sleep as tomorrow got project meeting in school. The lecturer finally gave us sample reports to make our life better. Nites world and may tmr be a better day.
(When this began) I had nothing to say And I get lost in the nothingness inside of me (I was confused) And I let it all out to find That I’m not the only person with these things in mind (Inside of me) But all the vacancy the words revealed Is the only real thing that I’ve got left to feel (Nothing to lose) Just stuck/ hollow and alone And the fault is my own, and the fault is my own
[Chorus] I wanna heal, I wanna feel what I thought was never real I wanna let go of the pain I’ve held so long (Erase all the pain till it’s gone) I wanna heal, I wanna feel like I’m close to something real I wanna find something I’ve wanted all along Somewhere I belong
And I’ve got nothing to say I can’t believe I didn’t fall right down on my face (I was confused) Looking everywhere only to find That it’s not the way I had imagined it all in my mind (So what am I) What do I have but negativity ’Cause I can’t justify the way, everyone is looking at me (Nothing to lose) Nothing to gain/ hollow and alone And the fault is my own, and the fault is my own
[Repeat Chorus]
I will never know myself until I do this on my own And I will never feel anything else, until my wounds are healed I will never be anything till I break away from me I will break away, I'll find myself today
[Repeat Chorus]
I wanna heal, I wanna feel like I’m somewhere I belong I wanna heal, I wanna feel like I’m somewhere I belong Somewhere I belong
Today was ok I guess. School was productive for once as my lecturer finally gave us a sample report. With that everything else will just fall into place. Also our break was at the right time when everyone else was having a break. It feels good to be a student again with all the nice scenery... :D Went shopping in town area today but did not manage to get any clothing. But am happy that I finally got my crumpler. Thanks to Charlene and Charlene for helping me choose the bag. Than it was off to Far East where Charlene got 2 pairs of shoes. Personally I think the black ribbon one looks better for going out and the other one for office wear. Kanna another potshot from my mom this time, telling me to learn how to give comments especially when girls ask if something looks nice... :S Than it was off to the airport to send Christina off. Not much to send off though cos before we could get some coffee it was last call liaos. Well all the best over there in UK.
Gonna do a mini clean up of my room tomorrow and get started on my jogging in preparation for IPT. Everything is going according to plan. All that is left this week is to finish up both assignments and get my clothes and a new hair cut. Losing some weight would be a bonus too.
"Everybody's Someone" by Leann Rimes & Brian Mcfadden
And every day begins the same Get up, go out, come back gain Same old, same old
A thousand faces pass you by You never look into their eyes
You feel so ordinary They feel so ordinary
Hey Everybody's someone No matter where you come from there's light in every single star You're more than who you think you are And hey Everybody's someone And when it's hard to hold on Remember you are not alone This house is everybody's home
And every day we seem to chase The perfect smile, the perfect face Same old, same old Same old
For every one who gets to shine A million more are left behind They feel so ordinary You feel so ordinary
Hey Everybody's someone No matter where you come from there's light in every single star You're more than who you think you are And hey Everybody's someone And when it's hard to hold on Remember you are not alone This house is everybody's home
From a king to a common man We're all part of a greater plan Oh There's light in every single star You're more than who you think you are Hey Everybody's someone When it's hard to hold on Remember you are not alone This house is everybody's home
Hey
Really nice song that encourages everyone to carry on when things dun go your way. Okies off to bed liaos. Its gonna be a long long day tmr. School than last minute shopping in town and than off to the airport to see christina off.
Ok just had to post this here to share before I go to sleep.
"Broken" by Seether ft. Amy Lee
I wanted you to know I love the way you laugh I wanna hold you high and steal your pain away I keep your photograph; I know it serves me well I wanna hold you high and steal your pain
‘Cause I’m broken when I’m lonesome And I don’t feel right when you’re gone away
You've gone away You don't feel me here anymore
The worst is over now and we can breathe again I wanna hold you high, you steal my pain away There’s so much left to learn, and no one left to fight I wanna hold you high and steal your pain
‘Cause I’m broken when I’m open And I don’t feel like I am strong enough ‘Cause I’m broken when I’m lonesome And I don’t feel right when you’re gone away
‘Cause I’m broken when I’m open And I don’t feel like I am strong enough ‘Cause I’m broken when I’m lonesome And I don’t feel right when you’re gone away
‘Cause I’m broken when I’m lonesome And I don’t feel right when you’re gone away
You've gone away You don't feel me here anymore
Just had to post this before I go sleep... Nice song, good vocals great lyrics... And to top it off, this is an interesting quote from the youtube page : "... this song is an awesome song....and no,they don't have to be anorexic to be beautiful..." I agree somehow, Amy Lee looks good. Abit on the plumb side but she knows how to dress and carry herself which scores points with me :)
Another saturday came and gone just like that. Having school in the morning really kills the weekend mood. After that you just do not feel like doing anything. Tidied up my assignment coding and wrote the report. After that it was just slacking around the house doing nothing. Well I got my $10 logitech mouse so at least I have completed one goal. Next thing was that I paid up the deposit for the gifts so next week should be able to collect before V Day. That makes 2 down and many more to go. I still need to settle my IPT booking before the window closes and finish up my CNY shopping.
The items on my to buy if I can afford list: - Crumpler "The Complete Seed" bag - Giordano collar polo tee - Adidas/Nike polo tee - Adidas/Nike sports shorts
Looks like after this CNY I gotta start saving again to refill my bank acct.
Ok thats about it liaos. Off to bed early. Thinking of doing my shopping over the week as weekdays not much people in orchard. Of cos if anyone wanna do lunch and shopping tmr just drop me an sms. If not its back to assignments and reports.
As you can see from the title and from my msn nick, I am not having the bestest of best day today. Not going to comment much but I just hope the weekend will be a better one. Sometimes I ask myself why do I bother to care and help other people. And I never ask or expect something in return. People ask me why so nice to help and I just go its just Kenneth that type of thing. Doesn't really cost me much to help anyway. But the thing I am starting to get irritated with is when people take it for granted and you get flamed. Not going to mention names(ok forum nick in this case) but it seems some people like to fire their mouth off before checking things out. I guess maybe using my lunch break and my own time to organise a hoot ram outing to get the rams at cheaper price when it was sky high or helping people come out with a list of parts for new computer is just not enough. Of well, maybe I should stop liaos.
I keep telling myself to start worrying about myself but I never seem to listen to myself. Ok from today onwards, and its in my blog here for everyone to see, I will not help anyone so freely any more. No more I give the benefit of the doubt first until proven otherwise. You want help you make sure you deserve it.
Second thing is that I am going to find more time for myself. Get a new game(its time to finish up my NWN2, FF12 and start on Rogue Galaxy), get my ass off the chair and back to jogging and taking a sport(tennis looks good) and go for retail therapy. I am going to buy that crumpler bag and a proper mouse.
Ok gonna get some shut eye early for lesson tmr. Nites world.
Yup its break in the usual 2 days 1 post routine. But this is too good not to share. While Kenneth has never been a fan of chinese music(cos I dun understand what is being sung), there are those which do capture my attention and interestingly enough, I would be hunting for the english translation and the han yu pin ying so that I can at least try to understand the lyrics more.
well thats it for tonight, will try to understand the video and the lyrics more tmr when I get home from sch. Nites world.
