Kenneth's Memories To Create: November 2007

Someone like me...

"Love Show" by SKYE

Nice song that was used in a Gray's Anatomy episode.

---

Anyway today was a rather disappointing day. Rushed all the way to Sitex only to be disappointed with everything. Non competitive prices compared to sim lim square and no new fancy hardware.

Thankful for Wee Din for coming down and me poisoning him to get the 22" Samsung lcd minitor. Also for the hardwarezone people who came down for the outing in the afternoon and getting to know more people. Ok I am bad at names but at least I should remember the faces. And lastly for Casse for saying "Hi" first. Nice to see a friendly face on a boring thursday afternoon.

Dinner was at seoul garden and the food was plentiful. But no idea why no appetite just now. Did not even eat dessert sia. So much chocolate ice cream telling me "eat me" but just not in the mood. Either the disappointment of Sitex is affecting me after all the excitment and hype or something else...

Anyway just some pictures to share:

A picture of the Ducati bike at the Sandisk booth.

Sushi at Seoul Garden.

Cheers,
Kenneth :)

I'm tryin' to read between the lines...

"Jenny" by The Click Five

Ok cute catchy song with meaning to it.

---

Anyway its been a normal past 3 days. So here is just a quick recap of them:

Sunday:
Went to church in the morning for baptism service. Refreshments was provided by one of the care groups and it was good stuff. Although I had one little complain, the curry/sardine puffs had more dough then fillings.

The usual afternoon nap followed by dinner at Taka Mos burger with Lindy, Charlene, Charlene, Elliott and Herbert.

Did some window shopping after that as I was still filling very broke after my retail therapy. But saw some nice clothing which I can consider getting.

The day was concluded at NYDC. Wanted to share the photos but they turned out bad. Forgot to turn off the flash. Well the desserts were good, but the company was better:)

Monday:
Went to do house call at Elliott's place to fix his itunes. Or rather fix the quicktime problem. One of the reasons why I never like it when you interlink programs. If they become dependable on it each other, when one spoil the other will also spoil.

Then it was off to school for another lab session. 2 more lessons to go. One this saturday morning and one more next monday and hopefully thats the last of them. And that means exams are coming soon. Sianz 1/2...

Tuesday;
Today was spent slacking at home, playing game and trying my hands at overclocking my pc again with no success. Think is time to "zheng" my pc some more.

And not forgetting that I cleared up some of my assignments. Aim to finish them by tomorrow so I can enjoy myself at sitex on thursday.

---

Well thats about it I guess. Nothing much happening these days. Just nice and quiet which is good in a way I guess.

Cheers,
Kenneth ;)

Think I'll walk me outside and buy a rainbow smile...

Maybe Tomorrow by Stereophonics

From the soundtrack of the movie Crash. Heard it before somewhere but couldn't remember until I found it again.

Well back from one crazy day that started last night. All the chiong my graphic card benchmark to break the 12k 3DMark06 barrier, finished up my report and complied my project, had more of a nap then sleep, rushed to school to hand up my assignment and rushed over to attend the wedding. And now waiting for the big match tonight.

Well I realised one thing today. The whole idea of being around like-minded people. People who also dun ask for great big showy thanks but doing things from the heart. It felt good. And just maybe I think I saw something from Randy's POV.

Ok lah sorry to say it but I think I know why liaos. Wasted lah but I am sure something else will work out for you.

And as I look at my own life and why am I "suffering" over these people. Its so not worth my time. Why should I care anymore. I rather go care and help these people instead rather then people who totally... Haiz nvm dun wanna talk about it here, its a happy day so I will just leave it as that.

Well one thing for sure, I was sitting there looking around at other people and asking myself why. I guess I was looking at the wrong people for quite some time? Maybe I should have been looking in the other direction?

Well I got a bible study to clear up for next week as I am leading. My offer is still on the table waiting for confirmation. And maybe being with the right people will help me see clearer.

Not saying things will change for the better overnight, not saying that its going to be an easy road but just taking a moment to stop and think, I am still 24 and have a whole life in front of me to work out.

Sure its still an emotional roller coaster for me now as I continue to sort out everything. But at least I am making a bit of progress here and there.

Cheers,
Kenneth.

Im a done fool for to ask for more...

"Ain't No Doubt" by Jimmy Nail

No there is no mistake in the title. The lyrics are really like this. Found this off a friend's blog. Sort of reminds me of someone I know.

Anyway I am finally done with my assignment. Couldn't care less about the tutor being bias with marks or the bonus marks. I had more fun doing other stuff.

Well a good friend of mine told me not to give so much anymore. Well she is not the first to say that and will not be the last. Maybe I should just keep giving until there is no more to give and then thats it.

Then maybe people will start to wake up their ideas and start looking out for themselves and stop being so blind? Well if that will work than so be it lah. I gave up trying to get myself to stop being a nice guy. Even the usual finishing last is not working.

Either that or I need a good reformat of the brain. Who knows.

Got a wedding to attend tmr. Ok I will be honest. I am half not looking forward to it. Not becos I dun think its a happy occasion. Not becos I need to rush down from school to make it. But becos there is a slight chance the dread question will pop out or some stupid thing will happen.

I am almost back to normal and I do not want anything to spoil everything. But hey its a wedding after all so I will be there. whether me being there matters to anyone or not is a different story. At least I made the effort to go down.

:)

Told a story about a man who is too afraid to fly so he never did land...

"Drops of Jupiter" by Train

Nice song from Train. It was originally a song inspired from the death of the lead singer's mother but seems to have evolved into a love song as well. Either way I kind of like the lyrics and the tune alot.

Anyway been busy with assignments and camping at sim lim square for my new toy.

When I brought the box home, everyone thought it was some game.

Well there is a game which is the one printed on the box but the real "treasure" is this card. Limited stocks in singapore and its now in my computer.

Although I haven't really gotten any nice games to test it out yet. But that would change soon... I hope.

Well other then that I been too busy these few days to think about anything else. If you get what I mean. Slowly moving on and back to reality. Either way I am looking forward to the holidays after my exams. I need a good break.

Cheers,
Kenneth.

'Cause I need a cloudburst in my life...

Nice song that has been on my play list for the whole day. Plus it helped that it was raining and the weather is very cool. I guess thats one of the few good things about sitting next to the window.

Finished one report and I can get ready to start work on my next assignment tomorrow. All the "Emo-ness" is starting to disappear. Lets hope for good. Had a good chat just now with Elliott. Thanks for the advise and the offer. Will consider properly and let you know soon since December is fast approaching.

Maybe it just did last night. And today is whats left of it. Just like the after effect. Something just snapped last night. Don't ask me what also. It just did. Weird right? Lol...

So many things to consider, so many things to commit... Yeah that sounds more like the Kenneth I know. But so many things has happened and will continue to happen. Just got this bad bad feeling.

Oh well one step at a time I guess. Although I must put a warning that there will be more emo-outbreaks here and on my other blog where it will get worst. Well hopefully now lah.

Cheers,
Kenneth. ;)

Gotta be having Deja Vu...

"Deja Vu(Freemasons Mix)" by Beyonce

Nothing like a little dance remix song to start my saturday officially. Yes my brain does not start work until late in the afternoon. Although my afternoon nap was filled with ideas for my next assignment.

Although one thought hit me which is rather interesting. This whole 'mess' I am in is what is called a Deja Vu. Similar situations and maybe a similar outcome again?

Well just goes to show my previous post has held trueh even after 4 years plus? Different circumstances yet the same general idea.

And yet I must guard myself against using this anger/disappointment as a motivation to up even more levels just to prove people wrong. Would be quite wasted to push myself too hard only to burn out in the end.

Well its back to assignments and I am actually looking forward to the next one.

Every little thing I do, Never seems enough for you...

Ok the logical processing part of my brain is not working anymore.
One killer java assignment and now another assignment where the comment "System administration here is basically fire fighting." is made.

And with that the other side of my brain is taking over.
Means I am getting emo at no apparent reason at all. Maybe there is but I wun admit it.
Feel overly sensitive to anything and everything. And to add salt to wound, its the 3 hit combo season coming. Christmas, Chinese New Year and Finally to complete it, V-Day.

I dun show it but its gonna get crazy trying to keep my emotions in check.
And uncheck emotions always lead to me doing stupid things and getting myself hurt needlessly.
And keeping myself occupied is not going to help as the 3 hits will come during my free periods.

And so drastic times call for drastic measures.

Reasons why I have no hope at all and should not even bother trying:
(disclaimer - I am no way trying to imply anyone here)

I am a student with little to no spending power.
I do not look like a million bucks.
I do not have a car.
I do not own a nice dslr.
I am a boring person.
I cannot sing.
I cannot play the drums/bass/guitar/etc
I do not get invited to happening events(I have to self invite).
I do not know how to buaya.
I cannot dance.
I do not have the bad boy image.
I stay home on saturdays cos I got church on Sunday
I got no name card.
I have no fashion sense.
I am just the good friend.
I do not have alot of time.
I do not even have a debit card.
I think character is more important than looks.
I think on the safer side of things.

Basically in society today, I am a nobody.

Think this should be enough for starters. Can always think of more if need be.
And since I usually need to let it out to other people and now everyone can see how inferiorly sianz I feel, maybe it will sink in my head.
Yeah there is no way that I will ever get attached feeling/being like this.

Which means I will either get more emo(hope not) or wake up my idea and study hard and continue to normalise my life as before.

And definately the mtv should add to the mood here. Ok thats it for tonight. Done with my draft for the next assignment so I can get some sleep. Back to school tomorrow. Oh yeah I should add that too : " I got school on saturday so unless there is a good reason, I would not go out on friday nights."

Nights,
Kenneth.

*BTW this post has a double meaning to those who still dun get what I am also trying to say.*

Reason will not lead to solution...

"Lovefool" by The Cardigans

If you hear me talk about Stardust, you will know why I picked this music video. I think Claire Danes is pretty. Ok I am expecting alot of flak now so I will rephrase it to I think she is attractive. Well at least to me.

Want to find out what I feel is attractive to me? This one is best left to msn or asking me in person. lol...

Anyway I am finally done with this stupid "Computer Security" assignment. Ok lah should have finished it way way earlier if not for my lack of motivation. So if you allow me to brag(well actually nothing to lah but just let me feel good tonite), I finished it in about 4 days.

With some help of cos but help received is help returned. I believe in a give and take type of thing.

Ok gonna check mail and clear up whatever needs to be settled before I tuck in for the nights.

Cheers,
Kenneth :D

The way through a man's heart is his tummy...

Seeing how Charlene's blog always has food and makes me hungry, I decided to try out something like that as well.

Thanks to Melissa's I want sushi cravings, I had this craving for Japanese food as well. And just nice, my mom decided to cook Japanese curry.

From east to west. Seafood pasta anyone? (The prawns and mushrooms were easier to position so thats why you only see that in the photo :P)

Instead of the usual cakes and muffins, my mom decided to bake a nice yummy apple pie... Wanna make a guess how many I had?

Coffee favored cheesecake from secret recipe. It was this or the mud pie. Well to me it was a no brainer.

Plus the fact that I am done with my assignment and should reward myself with a short 1 day break, I better head to the gym tomorrow morning to work off those delicious food.

Cheers,
Kenneth.

I need a Lullaby...

"Lullaby" by Shawn Mullins

Darn I need one now to get me to sleep... thought I was sleepy, said my good nights and tried to sleep. Tried is the word. Something is bothering me. Oh darn this is bad.

Sigh...

Well at least I am half way done with my assignment. My aim is to settle it by tmr or wednesday latest and start work on my next one.

And so here I go again with work on my mind. So someone please call me out before I get buried not by my work but my own craziness. But not before I settled this piece of assignment first.

Cheers,
Kenneth :D

*Think I will go wack some game to get me tired. No brain cells left to do my assignment if not I will...*

I should've started running

"Over You" by Daughtry

And I finally decided to listen their songs. And this one caught my attention.

The video talks about a girl, "Sarah" trying to get over the fact that she caused her boyfriend's death in a car accident. And only towards to end of the video that she ends up seeking help in a rehab place.

Moral of the story, dun take people for granted, especially those close to you. They might not complain and continue to be there for you but who knows what will happen.

Its only when we have lived through tomorrow that we can look back to yesterday.

And when they are gone, it will be even harder to pick up the pieces by yourself. I am sure its not hard to notice these people. Well some got more and some, not so much but there will always be at least one person there for you. Its just that something we are too blind or too deep in self denial to realise.

So look around and learn to appreciate people who have been supporting you all the time, directly and even more to those working hard behind the scenes.

Well, I come to realise these people abit more and will be trying hard to return the favor to them by supporting others.

Cheers,
Kenneth :)

P.S: There is another meaning to this song. Lyrics are pretty obvious. Dun wait till its gone to start regretting. People do move on and when they do, it might just be too late to want them back.

Did you finally figure out what it is that makes us who we are today...

"Did You" by Hoobastank

would you say everything you could
do the things that you thought you would
did it ever occur to you that this could be your final day
did you go where you wanted to go
learn about what you wanted to know
did you ever really give something back instead of always taking it

did you find what you're looking for
did you get your foot in the door
can you look at yourself and feel proud of all the things you've done
did you inspire the ones that you knew
make a difference to those who knew you
did you finally figure out what it is that makes us who we are today

don't waste another day
you never know when you'll get one
don't waste another day
to do anything you haven't done

did you always give it your best
is there anything you regret
if you could have another shot at it all would you do it just the same
was it all that you thought it could be
are you the person you thought you would be
or did it feel like you were spinning your wheels instead of moving forward everyday

don't waste another day
you never know when you'll get one
don't waste another day
to do anything you haven't done
don't waste another day
you never know when you'll get one
don't waste another day
to do anything you haven't done

did you
da da da did you
did you
da da da did you

don't waste another day
you never know when you'll get one
don't waste another day
to do anything you haven't done
don't waste another day
you never know when you'll get one
don't waste another day
to do anything you haven't done

did you
da da da did you
did you
da da da did you
did you
da da da did you
did you
da da da did you

I think the lyrics said everything I wanted to say.

Anyway maybe its time to move onto something else. Or maybe the root of all the problems in this aspect of my life is just my own warped sense of understanding the whole situation.

Oh well, lets hope I dun have to learn the hard way.

Derby Match starting soon...

Cheers,
Kenneth.

在車窗外面排徊是我錯失的機會

"一路向北" by Jay Chou

Well I got a bit more courageous and ventured out from Hougang. Guess I understood why Takumi went for a drive in the last part of Initial D(The Jay Chou One). I guess it does help.

The lights from the airplanes, the control tower and the viewing gallery. Felt lots better after that.

Well its back to assignments and what not.

Cheers,
Kenneth.

All the stars are coming out tonight

"Rule The World" by Take That

If walls break down, I will comfort you
If angels cry, oh I’ll be there for you
You've saved my soul
Don’t leave me now, don’t leave me now

---

Went to watch Stardust last night at GV Plaza. Really a nice show, the perfect movie date type of show. Light hearted, comical moments, post movie talking points and of cos the romance factor all wrapped in up one nice little package. And lots of eye candy too.

And thankfully, the group consisted of me, Elliott, Eugene, Melissa, Leanna and HuiRong. If its a all guys movie outing then Good Game liaos. All girls still not so bad I think.

The one line that caught my attention last night was that love is unconditional. Something that is all so true but often found lacking in the society of today. The main actress goes on to explain what and how love should be which I thought was rather nice. Hopefully those watching the movie that night in theater 1 GV Plaza would have brought home that message.

Anyway as my daughter so happily put it last night, I got a pimple on my nose. Haha. Not that I care or anything cos it will usually disappear after a few days. But it just means that I need to get my regular 7 hours of sleep and drinks lots of water and no more late nights.

So no more going out late for me unless there is a good reason. Need to start saving money also. lols.

Other then that, its home alone again for the next 3 days. Parents went to Malaysia for a short trip. So looks like its gonna be a quiet next 3 days at home.

Cheers,
Kenneth :)

But when we are apart I feel it too...

"Tearing Up My Heart" By *NSYNC

Feeling so small, I stare at the wall...

"Spending my Time" by Roxette

Before you ask, no I am not trying to get over a break up. Well how can I considering I am not attached in the first place. Although some of the lyrics do ring a bell somehow. Yes its another emo/feeling unbalanced Sunday for Kenneth.

Dun ask me how or why though. I myself have no idea. Either that or I am just running away from the truth. Or there is some new emotion that is alien to me and I dunno how to handle it. Either way it was a wasted Sunday in terms of productivity. Did not even level up my blood elf priest for that matter. Although WOW looks even better on the new screen.

Either way the ball is now in my court with the invitation in my mail box. Looks like things are moving along nicely as if some unseen force is working in the background. If things work out fine, I would be too busy to even worry about the not so important things anymore.

Ultimately, whatever the outcome is, I know for one that it is something that will be worth my time and effort and I do not think I can go wrong there. Well hopefully... lol...

Ok gonna clear up my emails and get some sleep soon. Must start sleeping earlier for the sake of my health.

Cheers,
Kenneth.

我一身的戎裝　呼嘯滄桑

"菊花台" by Jay Chou

菊花殘　滿地傷　妳的笑容已泛黃
花落人斷腸　我心事靜靜躺
北風亂　夜未央　妳的影子剪不斷
徒留我孤單　在湖面　成雙

enuff said...

Live Journal Updated

Nights,
Kenneth... sigh... :)

Impossible as it may seem...

"Quit Playing Games With My Heart" By Backstreet Boys

Ok so I admit. I actually listen to boy bands back in my secondary school days. Enough to know how to sing(although not very well sadly) some of their songs. And this one was the one I was excused last night. Although I still had to sing "I want it that way","Larger than life" and "As long as you love me".

But I guess its all in good fun. The once in a while Kenneth is willing to try to entertain people situation at the expense of his own face. Although it can make one rather emo in the process.

lols...

Widening my view...

Yup as most would have known, my old 17" LCD Monitor of 5 years plus has finally died. Well it did serve me well these five years so I guess its about time.

Well its replacement arrived on a sunny friday afternoon just as I left the house for school and its only this evening that I got about to set it up

Setting up the monitor on its stand. After using 17" for so long, I think its gonna take time to get used to 20"

Work Complete. An all black setting and enjoying a high def video trailer in all its glory.

Think its time to push my graphic card to the test.

Cheers,
Kenneth. :D

Justifying all the hurt inside...

"To The Moon And Back" by Savage Garden

Right the lyrics speak for themselves. But what I wanna bring is the fact that sometimes we justify all the hurt we been through. "It's his fault...", "Its her fault..." but its only when we see it as "It can be also my fault" that we grow.

True enough, sometimes its really not our fault but what is the use in playing the blaming game. Usually nothing good comes out from it.

And in light of it all, I was challenged not only to see the problem and learn from them so that I do not make the same mistakes but also to try to be part of the solution as well. Something that I think is gonna be hard but I am sure I will get there.

Guess while I won't fully understand it all now, I am sure that things will make more sense later on. And as mentioned before, only when you know what the important things are will the rest of the pieces fall into place.

Cheers,
Kenneth. :)